Is it procrestation or depression?

I don't truly know.

Is it being lazy and procrastination, or is it depression that separates me from the "Normal " life. What is normal any way?

Is getting out of bed easy for others and hard for me?

I don't know. What is normal and what is a symptom of depression. It is hard to distinguish.

Today i feel good. I am always very happy about my life. I love my life and have nothing to worry about. But why it is so hard to live it? My problems are many. My mind is racing, my body aches, i feel overwhelmed, i can't finish any task. aghhhhh. I hate seeing too many unfinished things.

Am i depressed because i am a perfectionist? I don't know. I have seen many perfectionist people that are not acting or feeling the way i do.

I feel like my head is overwhelmed with thoughts and ideas. I feel like i just need to sleep. Yeah, that is better. If i sleep, i can take a break from all this raising ideas and thoughts. I can't focus on any of the ideas.

Let me think what i need to do NOW.
. My hair is still dry from my shower. I need to dry it and flat iron it.
. Today is my vacuum day. I need to vacuum the house.
. I need to clean before vacuuming, because the house is messy and disorganise.
. I need to pay taxes.
. I need to go to the bank and get cash for our envelope system. We spend too much.
. I need to call my Psycologist to apologies for forgetting about the appointment. This thought scares me a lot. I am tired of dealing with disappointed people. They are nice and wonderful people and i mess up everything. But then calling and apologising is hard.
. I need to call a friend and apologies since i forgot about her party and i also forgot to respond to her e-Vite.
. I need to print a calendar and organise my life better.


But i am tired. What i really really want is to sleep and forget about all the overwhelming thoughts.

But i can't. I need to clean my kids room. My son's room is a huge mess and there is tons of paperwork in there.
.The multiple half way finished crocheting and knitting are piled up next to my bed and are bugging me.
. I need to polish that piece of wood furniture i picked up from the curb and stain and polish it. It could look so pretty.
. But i need to answer to the e-mail from my kid's principal.
Oh my kids. I need to find my son's homework folder. we lost it somewhere at home. My home is messy. I need to clean it.
I am so hungry, my stomach is growling. I don't want to just eat a cookie. I got too fat lately. I need to exercise, but i am too tired. the weight dumble is good to start. But first, i need to dry my hair and flat iron it. Then it will be time to pick my son up soon. What should i feed him? he has been eating very unhealthy lately.
I need to make him something with vegetable. But the kitchen counter is so messy, I need to clean that counter. Oh, tons of paperwork are waiting there. What if i scan some more papers in my computer first to get rid of the clutter. That is a good idea. This way i can find that tax paper with the estimated tax payment and make a payment. Oh man. We have spent too much lately. I would like to reduce it. But i need to go to the bank and get some cash first to restart the envelope system.

I am just too tired to do any of these things. I think i will just take a nap till it is time to pick my son up. This way i hope to have more energy for my kids when i pick them up.
Oh my daughter has a math test. I need to work with her on that. I hope to be able to teach her how to study.
I am having a headache.
Yeah.
I am just going to take a nap.