My psychologist has talked to me about having a healthy sense of entitlement. It has been and is one of the most difficult things to do. The more I think, the more I notice that I have had a serious lack of self confidence.
I am a doctor who is shopping at goodwill store and is very hesitant to spend money on herself. I like old small houses in less desirable neighborhoods. I always, I mean always worked through my lunch break. I felt I didn't deserve a break.
I am always apologizing and all my phrases start with "I am sorry"
I didn't have a wedding because we didn't have much money and I didn't feel entitled to have a celebration.
The more I think about my life, the more I notice that I am having serious problems.
I know, for me to heal this damn depression, my first step should be to start falling in love with myself. I need to learn to respect myself and do not accept all the crap I am handed.
The funny thing is that my mom is the main crap provider. She is the one that did this to me. She is the one that now feels sorry for herself and acting like a victim while is living a fun and wonderful life. Because I separated myself from her.
No. Not any more. I am not going to go visit her and take care of her, because she is having a boob job. No . I am not going to let her win. No I am entitled to keep away from her if I choose to.
I am a woman. I am alive and I have my own life. I am entitled to make my own decisions.
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